Do Opposites Attract?
Why Do People Want to Form Close Relationships?
• People form close relationships to reduce their fears.
• Indecisive and unhappy people seek more close relationships.
• People who are afraid of their problems get closer to other people to escape from them.
• People want to be relieved by comparing their own feelings and reactions with those in the same situation. For this reason, they want to form close relationships.
From these points, we can summarize the reasons why humans need to be close as 1) to be sure of the dangers they fear, 2) along with a sense of security, and 3) because it brings us reward, we come together with others. It brings reward and protects from punishment. We can share things and overcome them together. "One hand cannot clap." Also, if I get together with people like me, I will have validated my own self. That is, I will be pleased to find someone who adopts my ideas. You will not feel anxious in an environment where those with the same or similar ideas as you are in the majority, you will feel safe. Being with such people is a direct reward for you. Being close to others is innate. Being close to others is in our genetic programming. The first social behavior a baby shows when it is born is smiling, this is a reflex, and then the human just grins...
Do Opposites Attract?
Opposites attract in that they only find each other attractive and may even marry, but there may be a pathology underlying this. Perhaps the couples have a wound, and they come together under the influence of this wound, but as the wounds begin to heal, opposites will begin to push rather than attract each other. What is this wound? For example, a young woman raised in the Mediterranean culture, devoted to her freedom, her parents never interfered with her in any way, and an Anatolian man appears who starts to interfere with the young woman's clothing and appearance. This behavior might seem attractive to her. However, after a while, continuing to compromise her previously adopted liberal stance will be an undesirable situation for the young woman, and the relationship will go uphill. They will start to push each other away. In relationships, complementarity is more important than opposition or complete similarity. If there is complementarity, that relationship continues more stably. If the individuals are completely similar, if they are identical to each other, everything will be the same. No different idea will be put forward. If one is a bit talkative, the other should know how to listen a bit; if one is messy at times, the other should know how to clean up. That is, there should be room for arrangement in relationships. If both are the same, there will be no room for arrangement. This will lead to boredom after a while.
